WANTED: Mary Sue
by Adrianne Hershae
Summary: ATTENTION ALL MARY SUES! You are to go to the Great Hall immediately to be deported elsewhere...or you could just leave on your own accounts. Take your pick. I'm just having a little fun with the concept.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Nah dah! (my way of saying, 'no duh!')

**A/N:** (shrugs) I just randomly thought this up. You know, I haven't written anything with a Mary Sue in it since I was…9? I think that was it…_hopefully_…heh heh heh...

**Great Moonlit Hippies!!! It's a Mary Sue!!! …or is it?**

"I've found her!" Harry cried out triumphantly.

"What do you think you're doing?!?" yelped Moonlight.

Not letting go of her wrist, Harry passed her the poster:

_ALL MARY SUES WANTED!!!_

_- To be sent to the Great Hall from which they will be deported elsewhere._

Moonlight rolled her eyes in disgust. "And what makes you think that I'm one of _those_?!?" she spat.

Hermione started the interrogation. "Give us your full name!"

"It's Moonlight Goldheart Danielson," recited Moonlight through clenched teeth.

"There you have it!" exclaimed Ron, pointing an accusing finger.

One could have almost sworn that there was a tinge of fear in his eyes. The Mary Sues were really taking over the place these days. Moonlight shot him a sardonic look. "My parents are hippies – they still believe in all that Flower Power mojo from the 70's."

Seeing Ron's troubled expression, she suggested, "Um, they're muggles. I'm muggle-born."

Ron's face screwed up in confusion and Hermione rolled her eyes explaining, "During the late 60's and early 70's, there was a popular subculture dubbed under the name 'Hippie', derived from the word 'hipster'. 'Flower Power' was a slogan used by the hippies to promote world peace."

Ron's confused look remained and Hermione rolled her eyes turning her attention back to Moonlight. "My condolences, Moonlight," she apologised.

Moonlight looked away dejectedly. "It's alright," she replied, "You know, _I've_ never been too happy about it."

She shrugged, "Hate to disappoint you guys, but I'm just a regular OC."

She turned to go then looked back at them. "That's allowed right?"

They all nodded sympathetically and left to the next suspect.

**A/N:** Please review! I want to know if this is actually funny…or whether it's just dry (sweat drop)


	2. Chapter 2

**Two for the price of one!!! …or is it one for the price of two? Ummm…you decide...**

Tanya was walking absentmindedly down the hall, having spent the last of her energy in potions class. Having Snape there to torment them was nought more than a thorn in her side. It definitely wasn't helping to stir her creative juices. She needed to get her mind off all this studying. Suddenly, a familiar voice squealed out, "Tanya!"

Okay, _now_ she would rather be studying. She ran in the direction of the cry. Ginny Weasley had her sister, Genevieve by the arm with Neville Longbottom standing along side. "_You're_ the one who's been trying to get to Harry!"

"You're just jealous," cried the brat, "Because Harry and I were meant to be together!"

Tanya rolled her eyes and came forward. "Give it up brat," she told Genevieve, "You know you're not gonna win."

"Yes I will! I'm much prettier than Ginny! I have blue-violet-green eyes that change colour, long silvery-blonde locks because I'm part Veela and I'm much smarter than her! I'm even smarter than Hermoine!"

"Right," Tanya agreed sarcastically, "You done making a scene yet, sis?"

"W-w-wait a moment!" gasped Neville looking at the paper in his hand and then at Tanya, "You're one of them too!"

"One of what?" Tanya asked.

He showed her the _WANTED_ poster, his hands trembling. It took Tanya a while to read it, but afterwards, she shook her head holding up her palms. "Nope," she told them, "But I guess you've caught my, sis."

"Hey!" exclaimed Genevieve. Suddenly, Ginny turned on Tanya. "What about that incident where you said that you're a dragon animagus, who also had the same deadly magic as a dragon?" she questioned, "And that time when you said you knew the Weird Sisters and started singing on-stage with them at the Yule-Ball?"

Tanya sighed, scratching the back of her head with her left hand. "Alright, alright," she admitted, "You've caught me."

Before, they could say, 'Ah ha!' she continued on, "I'm a con artist."

Both Neville and Ginny stared at her dumbfounded, while her sister glowered at her hoping to burn her with her non-existent laser eyes. "The whole dragon thing," Tanya began, "It's not true at all. If you want to know the truth, my way with magic is pretty bad. If it weren't for my well paying summer job I wouldn't even finish my homework! However, I do know a few tricks. I won't tell you it, but I know a spell that can suck up anything you want it to, and then eject it, when convenient. I used it to suck up some petrol that I have stored in my trunk. All I did was carefully shove the wand and my lighter down my right sleeve and put my right hand to my lips, making sure to point the wand in the right direction. When I "blew fire", I was just blowing air out of my mouth, while my wand ejected the petrol, which caught onto the flame on my lighter, thus making me look like I was breathing fire."

Tanya spread her arms for a dramatic effect and gave them a mocking, "Ta da!"

Now, they were all giving her concerned looks. Harry, Ron and Hermione had joined the throng too. "So," she asked them, after taking time to breathe, "Do you want to hear the next explanation?"

They all shook there heads. "Ah come on!" she exclaimed, giving a flippant gesture with her left hand, "It's pretty simple!"

Despite their exhausted looks, she continued on, "Truth is, I don't know the Weird Sisters at all! I just got absolutely drunk on some secretly-imported fire-whisky and decided to go up there and give it a go!"

That was the truth of it too. The rumour that she actually knew them had drifted from her lips and had come out the other end of the grape-vine saying, "Tanya was invited to be a member of the Weird Sisters because she's an exceptional singer."

The only part that was true was that Tanya _could_ sing and _this_ was the reason why they hadn't kicked her off the stage. "So what about her?" asked Harry pointing at Tanya's sister.

Everyone turned their attentions back to Genevieve. "I'm sorry sis," said Tanya, "But I told you before! You are too young to be here! Don't do this to yourself! You can reincarnate or whatever, when you're older!"

Tanya turned away from her sobbing sister and explained. "She's only 9 guys," she told them, "She doesn't know how to create a proper OC yet. I managed to get her in using my account."

They looked down sympathetically at the spectacular shrinking Genevieve. _Now_, she was starting to look her age. They then glared up at her irresponsible teenage sister. "What?" Tanya asked holding up her palms defensively.

"Con artist," she stated pointing at herself, "And I'm allowed to be here! I'm an OC, _not_ a Mary Sue!"

Tanya looked down at her tiny sister and patted her on the head. "You can do this when you're older, I promise."

She then looked back up at the group standing before her. "Please, just don't go too hard on her," she told them.

Leaving them to take her sulking sister to the Great Hall, Tanya chuckled under her breath, "Later, brat."

**A/N:** Please review! If people actually like this I may consider writing more. It's kind of fun really.


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